Last Thing Near to Love
by Yuga Xyunagi
Summary: "We're engaged in order to stop the war YOU made. Remember that. So kissing me like this in private won't benefit us. Stop it" She spoke against her will. "I'm not doing this because we're engaged Sakura. I kissed you because I..." "Sasuke-kun..."


_My eyes stared to flutter as the curtains slide to each sides that let the morning sunlight seep in through the tall glass windows. I see nothing but a blurred image of an empty space beside me but I sense a faint smell of the man I've shared this bed with for the past few days. And who is that man? That person is an assassin – an assassin that killed his best friend as merciless as how he did when he killed my family. That man is… Sasuke._

I flexed my shoulders until I finally got the strength to at least sit down on where I was.

_I always woke up on time before. But for the past few days, I just wish I didn't instead. Sometimes I'd wish I'd follow to where Naruto and my family are right now. But every time I do so, guilt devours me and a flashback of the war rings reality's toll. _

My eyes roamed around finding the perpetrator to who disturbed my sleep and found a silhouette of a woman standing in front of the window. As I blinked and tried to confirm who she was, she spoke with a familiar voice saying an unfamiliar phrase.

"Sasuke-kun asked me to wake you up, Sakura"

I darted my eyes on her and replied "You could at least say –san, Karin."

_Yes. It was Karin. Even if I saved her from death, she still considered me as an enemy. She still hated me. And I can't blame her for that because…_

Karin threw the silk garment that she was holding straight beside me and with husky anger said "It doesn't mean that you're marrying Sasuke-kun, I'd respect you and you'd respect me."

_That's right. Marrying. It's been a week since Sasuke and I publicly proclaimed our engagement. Of course at first Tsunade-sama opposed. Even Tobi declined his recognition when Sasuke reported this to him. But both of them had no choice. She would lose their legendary healer; he would lose his ace of pawns._

"Just leave."

"You don't need to tell me that to step out from here" Karin, with heavy steps, walked out the door and slammed it.

"_Just leave" That was all that I could say. I know that she loves him. I wish I do too. I don't love him anymore. And what about Sasuke? He doesn't love me too. To tell you the truth, this engagement is for both our personal benefit. If the war stops, I could actually save the only thing worth I have now – Konoha, and Sasuke would be able to save the Uchiha's territory inside it._

After a sigh, I pushed myself away from the bed and started to strip as I went to the bathroom. I figured a warm bath would soothe me from these thoughts besides from the cold spring days.

_It was actually Sasuke's idea. He saw how the Uchiha village started to deteriorate due to the war. It was unavoidable that it wouldn't be involved, so at one night, he entered our hideout like it was simply practice and proposed this plan. He did have a point. It was believable… after all, I did love him. That I knew. Though, I never knew that he did too. _

I was about to start scrubbing my body, until I sensed a presence nearing. I wrapped myself around a towel and, due to reflexes, threw a few kunais toward the opening door.

_Shit. Who would? It's okay. It doesn't mean that I've been specializing in medical jutsu that my techniques have rusted already._

On a split second, I started to create hand symbols and oozed with confidence. The next thing I know was being pinned on the wall, with a katana held millimeters away from my throat. I sighed.

"Let me go" I solidly said, piercingly looking at the Sharingan eyes locked at mine.

_I can't beat him. No matter what I do… Naruto and my family sacrificed their live for mine… It's these eyes that killed everybody who was important to me. Bring back Naruto. Bring back my family. Bring back my Sasuke…_

I gripped where he held it and tried to push the katana away from me. But he was too strong even for my strength and just ended up hurting my fingers.

"Let me go" I whimpered again. Yet he just stared.

_If you look at him clearly, it isn't a surprise many still fall for him. He still has the same strong facial features that led me to where all my first love began. How nostalgic. His smooth face… his unreadable eyes… his subtle lips… This is so…_

He retracted his katana as I tried to lean forward and didn't even utter a word. In fact, he turned around and started to walk away just like that.

_Painful._

I averted my eyes and looked down. Then I parted my lips to find the courage to apologize.

_I have to at least apologize… for this pain._

"I'm so-" But unexpectedly, a sneeze overtook. Then I looked at him as he turned around and emotionlessly said "You don't need to apologize"

"But I'm not apologizing because I need to… I'm apologizing because I want to." I replied. "Sorry, Sasuke-kun"

_I should gulp in my pride. I did well. I wanted to apologize. Really. Though, it just hurts because those words are the last of everything unspoken between the two of us. And I have a lot more to say than that._

Sakuraaaaa!" a looming voice exclaimed. I could hear her leaping footsteps going closer.

"Ino's coming?" I questionably looked at Sasuke

"Yes. She requested to fix you for later" He replied. And with that I couldn't hide a trivial smile.

_Ino's here. Ino's here! It's been long since I've seen Ino. Even during the war, both of us didn't work together. She was assigned at the base, I was aiding second line where… I, I (looks at Sasuke)…have to build my resolve. He can't see me this weak. No. Not anymore._

I retracted my lips and spoke with an insulted face "I could do that on my own. Thank you"

He stopped facing me and roamed his eyes all over my body.

_What is he thinking staring at me like that? It's making me… somehow hot. _

"You say so." He said with demeaning tone after darting at the towel that was lying on my feet and just before leaving.

"SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!"

And just as I thought that it wouldn't get any worse, Ino's head peeps in the bathroom "Looks like there are worse parts in your body than your forehead after all"

_-o-o-o-_

"Stop rumbling now Sakura. He just saw you naked. Psh" Ino said as she combed my hair.

"If I get the chance, I will… ugh! Not enough venting would be enough to ease my anger!" I rolled my fingers to a fist and mocked punches.

"Stupid!" She laughed. "Don't move too much. If your hair gets messed up, I won't do it again."

_It's been long since I've talked like this. I haven't talked to anyone normally here in this house. Sure I was with Sasuke and his company, but it doesn't mean that when you're not alone you don't feel lonely. I'm really happy she came by. _

I looked at the mirror and smiled after seeing her effort I spoke "How'd you know I was afraid Ino? I mean, meeting with Tobi and Sasuke's comrades."

"You're going to meet with them tonight? But why so soon?" She yelped shockingly.

"Yes. Isn't that why you're here – to make me presentable?"

_What's going on? I thought that she requested for-… wait. Don't tell me…_

Ino continued to her fixing. "Sasuke didn't mention anything like that when he invited me over. He just said that you wanted to see me. Of course I had to accept. After what you've been through…"

_Ino does empathize. I can't believe she's not teasing me for actually requesting for her. I was just yearning for someone I could at least be myself with._

"But the Sharingan can't read emotions. How'd he know that I was feeling a little lonely?" I asked Ino.

"Don't ask that to me. Ask it to him!" Then she laughed a little and weaved a hairpin through my hair "Sakura, you've shared some years with him too. Maybe he sees through you even without those eyes"

_He pities me? But if he did, then there's no need for him to lie about Ino's request. Surely he would've slapped it in front of my face instead._

Ino gasped in happiness and said "Stand up Sakura. Look at yourself. You look…."

"Good enough" His deep voice continued Ino's statement

_That moment burned ecstasy in me as I turned around to find him gazing… But even if it may be another lie, it didn't stop me from blushing. It didn't stop me from going near him to call his name. No. I didn't ask anymore why he lied. It didn't matter to me anymore. And for that reason, my belief shook. And I pondered that maybe, my past teammate was still in there. That maybe, it was okay to let myself be protected by him again._

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